ddrboy's Diaryland Diary
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Cars and Red
Fucking eh.
I sit down and try to tell you about what's happening in my life, and it just don't come out.
Basically, our car, a Chrysler Le Baron, almost died on us. The transmission just didn't want to work anymore. I would have to put it in gear, and then put the pedal to the metal in order for it to go. So much black smoke, noise and PUTT-PUTT! LOL!
So, two nights ago, at 9:30pm, we went to Universal City Nissan to get a car. WE GOT A 2001 NISSAN ALTIMA!!!!!
It rocks!
CD, A/C, Power window, steering, locks. Most of the extras. Not a new one, but it's better than having a '89 car! I'll miss the convertible, but we needed this new car. The old one, was...too tired. Oh well!
Red and I are ok, but the strange thing is, I feel him getting distant. Hmm? Maybe it's my paranoia from not taking my Prozac? Maybe it's the fact that I am starting to think like I used to.
I mean, I get the urge to go to parks, rest areas, any place men hang out to have anonymous sex. Now that I am fucking instead of always getting fucked, I get the urge to fuck anyone who wants a fuck. FUCK! That's my problem. I don't care who wants it, but as long as they do, and from me, go for it! I've been going into chat rooms more often lately, trying to not get caught up in looking for fucks, but just looking for my friends and just talking.
I've cheated before, but I don't, I REPEAT, DON'T WANT TO RUIN WHAT I HAVE WITH RED! No one fuck is worth losing him.
Red is the most caring, wonderful, handsome man I can have! I truly love him and miss him.
I love you!
12:46 p.m. - Thursday, Oct. 17, 2002
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