ddrboy's Diaryland Diary
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Taking Him For Granted!
This has been a very interesting weekend! I've been to Universal Studios twice, with Gus. I've seen him every other day since our breakup. It sucks that it couldn't be like this before, but I know that we were just having problems and we need our space. We need to be single for a while and that way at least I can really appreciate the guy he is.
I talked shit about him, but only when I was down and upset. He's not the guy I made him to be.
He says I don't take him seriously and again, I agree with him. I take him for granted. I just can't fucking believe that I have done this to him. I've fucken messed him up. Fuck!
I did take him for granted. There is a lot of shit that I never put in here that I did to him and he was still with me through it all. He didn't have to, but he did. He loved me.
He says he still loves me, and I believe him. It's just that it's hard to look at him and not miss him. I kind of regret telling him to break up, but I know it's for the best. I've never felt so "free" in a long time. I feel like I'm able to talk to him without getting hurt. We were talking in the car the other day, and I was coming up with these witty remarks and he was surprised at how fast and good they were. I told him that it's cause I'm no longer afraid of him. He's not holding me back anymore. My feelings flow free and it's all cause of him.
He's done so much for me, and I wish everyone knew that. Especially my mom. She's always had issues with him and my bieng with him just made her...eww! Just this minute, she was all like, "When Gus had that problem in Mexicali, we went over there and helped him out. I didn't have to do shit for him, but I did it so you could be happy." She doesn't like him and maybe it's cause he's actually started me on my cutting the cord.
Ok, I know that last line will just start shit in my tag-board, but I don't care. You people don't know me for shit. You think you do, but you don't. Talk to me in person, get to know me, and then you can talk all the shit you want. Well, as for talking shit, I know someone's prayers have been answered and the funny thing is, Karma rules. I know you were talking shit about me, while you were getting shit talked to. Just know that Karma will get you, get you good!
I've been thinking about going back to school this year and I'm looking into web design, or something to do with computers. That, or something with numbers. I've always loved numbers! Tee hee!
Well, I'm off for now.
Have fun!
1:38 p.m. - Monday, Jul. 28, 2003
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