ddrboy's Diaryland Diary
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The Crying Game
Well, today I got the shock of my life! I'm an alcoholic.
I went to my cousin's house this afternoon, and Mike, my cus, offered me a beer. They know I don't like to drink...BEER...with them, cause they are assholes when they drink. I also don't want them to have anything on me that they can use against me later on. They're family, of course they would try to blackmail me!
Anyway, they were drinking and Mike kept offering me a beer, I kept telling him no. So I took one to shut him up and leave me alone. He put some lemon and salt on the rim for me to drink, and I took a sip. The shock of my life was that the beer didn't taste like beer!
I hate beer and today it tasted good. I got scared for a sec. In my family, there are way too many drunks. Mike is already there, and his bro is on his way if he don't watch it. His dad, my mom's bro, and another uncle of mine used to get drunk and pass out on the street when we used to live out in Los Angeles. Everyday, my mom would have to drag their asses back in the apartment and take my uncle home. My uncle Mike and Al were the drunks. Uncle Mike lived with us in a single apartment when I was little.
I remember seeing the two of them out on the corner, kneeling on the ground, hands behind their head, hands cuffed together. The cops were taking them to jail for public drunkeness. You know what I mean. Well, after that shit, Uncle Mike got sick. Cirrhosis. You know, wasting away of the liver/liver dying/damage. While he was in the hospital getting better; you gotta know, this was not the first time he was in there, his doc told him, one more drink and you're dead!
Too bad he didn't listen. My uncle died in September of '86, ten days before his 41st birthday. My whole family was distraught.
Devestated.
His death did come with a silver lining. My Uncle Al stopped drinking, got a job, and moved out to the San Gabriel Valley and is still there, sober! My mom had already started nursing school when all this happened, so when he died, the next month she started working at County-USC, so we moved out of Los Angeles out to the SGV. She bought a condo and then Mr. C moved in. I'll tell you about him later in this entry.
My mom also drank, but not to that extent. Everyone in our family stopped drinking when Uncle Mike died. We had to move on and out. I miss him sometimes; too bad I was too young to remember much of him. I do remember him and my Grams taking me to school in the morning. Each of them would grab me by a hand and literally drag me to school. They used to walk so fast! We were poor back then, so when I started school, my mom was worried about a backpack for me. Uncle Mike told my mom that I would have a new backpack for everyday of the week. Monday; a bag from Ralph's, Tuesday; Safeway, and so forth. LOL.
We moved out from the ghetto, to a condo. It was nice, I had a room for the first time, but I was too scared to sleep there alone. Oh, and my mom said that there were spirits in the house. I never saw or heard them, but my mom was freaked. Mr. C, my stepdad and the only dad I know, used to get kicked in the back when he was lying on the floor in the living room. He always thought it was Grams, cause she didn't like him and they were always fighting. My Grams get jealous and fights with everyone! Ugh! Anyways, the kicking was the spirits and they used to throw the food in the fridge out to the floor. They used to run up and down the stairs ( we had three floors!) and turn on all the showers and sinks. Shit. When Mr. C left out to Kentucky cause he was sick(more on that later), we moved out to my Uncle Al's place. She was just too freaked and it was too much for her to pay alone.
I told her that maybe the spirits that were bugging my Uncle Mike followed us and wanted to mess with us. After we moved, they stopped.
Mr. C, my stepdad, my mom's husband...well, that's a lot to tell. He was gay! He and my mom fell in love in beauty school. My mom went to beauty school before getting into nursing. There Mr. C was her instructor/inspector. He used to work for State Board, the peeps in charge of the licensing and stuff. Well, they fell in love and got married. Yay! I finally had a dad-type at home.
He had to leave; he didn't want us to get sick. He had AIDS. He passed away in 93. Since then, I have been involved in many AIDS prevention thingys and stuff like that. I miss him a little bit, only cause he wasn't around that much for me to remember him, but he did look like Kenny Rogers! He was hot when he was young, and in the Air Force, and Army!
Let's see...what else?
Hmm...I miss Richard. I talked to him and he's moving up north...FUCK! His family is moving to New Hampshire and he has to go with them, but he's already making plans. He's gonna try to save up enough money to get out here and maybe live for like a couple of months while looking for a job here. I want him here with me now. I just can't believe how I feel about him.
Love! The freakiest of emotions. Oh well. Tomorrow is another day!
Hugs and love to you all!
12:18 a.m. - June 17, 2002
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