ddrboy's Diaryland Diary
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If I Could Turn Back Time
Ugh!
I thought I moved on. That he wasn't on my mind. No more feelings.
Damn!
I saw Sam tonight, and with him looking all cute with his hair short, his sideburns, all in black...DAMN!
I swear, he looked cute and I told Gus after leaving Pistons , that I though Sam looked good. Then I felt the butterflies again. Fuck. I thought I got over him, but he was talking and making me laugh and I started to fall for him again. He touched a part of me and I just don't want to let go. I know I will someday, but I guess there is still a part of me that likes him. For example, tonight we were playing "20 Questions" and Othello asked who in the group we have had or would like to have. Sam said he had me and stuff, and I said that I had him and stuff, but I said I wanted someone else. I lied.
I still want Sam.
Fuck!
The heart is a mysterious thing.
Then when I read vance's diary tonight, there in the middle of his entry was something that struck a cord. He said something about seeing the boy he liked pop up online and he would get butterflies and couldn't wait to talk to him...That was me.
Just read Vance's diary entry named...Feeling a bit Schitzo.
On to other news...
We went to my cousin's house to see her baby. She is so cute! But then I was like...Aww, I want a baby. I know that someday I will have one. I just need to take care of myself first and then start a life. When the day comes that I am ready for a child, that's when I'll worry about it. So, that's all about the baby...LOL
Oh, Red and I went to Norms and we just started talking about what we like sexually and I found out that we have a lot in common in that area! Ooh, but I'm not going to tell what they are! Ha! I'll just say that we would have fun in bed together, but that's not going to happen. He's a real cool guy! Yay!
Nick...I talked to Nick, this boy that answered my ad on Yahoo...LOL Yes, I have an ad on Yahoo. But I have it to look for friends. That's how I found many of my friends online. We talk and then we meet and then we become friends. I starts out sexual, you know, but I figure out if I like that person and if I don't, I just turn it into a friendship! Anyway, he's 19..LOL. He's cute, but he's too fem...LOL. No, there's nothing wrong about him being 19 or fem, it's just that I want Richard.
Strange, I still have feelings for Sam, but I want Richard?
Hmm...
4:01 a.m. - June 20, 2002
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