ddrboy's Diaryland Diary
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He's Moving On In
Subject: FW: T-Shirt sayings1) The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
2) I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3) I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6) Don't take life too seriously; you won't get out alive.
7) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
8) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9) Earth ... is the insane asylum for the universe.
10) I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing.
12) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
13) I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.
14) I want to die in my sleep, like my grandfather ... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
15) God must love stupid people; He made so many of them.
16) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
17) It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you.
18) I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
19) Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
20) Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
21) Beer ~ The Reason I Get Up Each Afternoon!
22) "That's It! I'm Calling Nana!" (seen on an 8-year old)
23) "Wrinkled.... Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up"
24) "Procrastinate..... Now"
25) "Rehab..... Is for Quitters"
26) "My Dog.... Can Lick Anyone"
27) "I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts - Do You Want Fries With That?"
28) "Party - My Crib - Two A.M." (On a baby-size shirt)
29) "Finally 21, and Legally Able to do Everything I've been doing since I was 15"
30) "Arkansas: One Million People and 15 last names"
31) "FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software."
32) "I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I'VE GOT A GUN"
33) "A hangover is the wrath of grapes"
34) "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance"
35) "STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!"
36) "DISCOURAGE INBREEDING - Ban Country Music"
37) "They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken"
38) "He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead"
39) "Time is fun when you're having flies" -- Kermit the Frog
40) "POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN ... Cops have nothing to go on."
41) "FOR SALE - Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once."
42) "HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH"
43) "HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig."
44) "WELCOME TO KENTUCKY - Set your watch back 20 years."
45) "The trouble with life is there's no background music."
46) "The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson."
47) "MOP AND GLOW - The Floor Wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team."
48) "NyQuil - The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning-medicine."
49) "My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't!"
I recieved the above in an email today...so was this:
GAY PICKUP LINES1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day long.
2. (Lick finger and wipe on his shirt)... Let's get you out of these wet clothes.
3. Nice ass... what time does it open?
4. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
5. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
6. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
7. I may not be the best-looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
8. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Cocked Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?
9. Wanna play army? I'll lie down and you can blow the hell outta me.
10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Wal-Mart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
13. You might not be the best-looking guy here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
14. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
15. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
16. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
17. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
18. Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Easy Bottom?
19. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
20. My name is Mark... remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
21. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
22. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
23. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
24. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anywhere you want to.
25. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
26. If you and I were the last men on earth, I bet we could do it in public.
27. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza?
28. Dude, I'm an American Express lover... you shouldn't go home without me.
29. Do you sleep on your stomach? No...? Can I ???
30. Do you wash your jeans in Windex? ...because I can see myself in them.
I love them! I really do.
I hope you can tell I'm happy. 
Anyway...like I said in the previous entry, Red is staying with us for the month of August. I just hope he decides to stay for September, October, November...:0�
He's stopping by his place to pick up somethings to bring over before coming home. Shit, home is my house! Yay! This is way too cool, and I just hope that we can work things out, cause now it means that since he's moving in, we are going to have to be happy. Ha! You know what I mean!
Oh, and tomorrow I'm going to some interviews. Sav-on Drugs is having interviews for job openings at a store near me. I hope I get something, I really need a job. That way I can help out at home and when Red and I want to, we can get a place of our own! That is so cool.
I just hope these negative feelings I've been having go away soon!
Hugs and licks,
Love,
Richard
P.S. I JuSt WaNtEd To AnNoY sOmE pEoPlE iN tHe StIcKy CaPs ThInGy At ThE bOtToM oF mY pAgE! hA hA! Ok, bYe!
7:09 p.m. - Tuesday, Jul. 30, 2002
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