ddrboy's Diaryland Diary
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Q & A
Q & A
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Ask your Mom.
How do you know when you're really ugly?
Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.
What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom?
Say, "Nice Dick"
How do you know when you're leading a sad life?
When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Lets just be friends,"
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
Mom's have Mother's day, Dad's have Father's day, What do
single guys have?
Palm Sunday
Why is being in the Military like a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
What do you call a 90 year old man who can still masturbate?
Miracle Whip
What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts?
Her Navel.
What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A Bingo Machine.
What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Beer Nuts are $1.25, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
What three two-letter words mean small?
"Is It In?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
If you are having sex with two women and one more walks in,
what do you have?
Divorce proceedings, most likely.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple who had a retarded baby?
They named him Sum Ting Wong.
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter
than the other?
A speech impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying
at half mast?
They're hiring.
What do toilets, a clitoris, and an anniversary have in
common?
Men miss them all.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
Because they're not going to work in the future either.
What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each
arm?
A pimp.
Why do drivers education classes in Redneck schools use the
car only on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed. class uses it.
What's the difference between a Southern zoo, and a Northern
zoo?
A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front
the cage, along with a recipe.
How do you get a sweet little 80 year old lady to say Fuck?
Get another sweet little 80 year old lady to yell "Bingo"
What's the Cuban National Anthem?
Row row row your boat.
What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a
Southern fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins "Once Upon a time" A Southern
fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit."
8:20 p.m. - Wednesday, Nov. 13, 2002
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