ddrboy's Diaryland Diary
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Fucking Red...Ugh, STAY!!!
Red wants to move out and this time...I'm like, fine. Just move out and do what you have to do. I am just going to concentrate on work and to save money. UGH! Fuck that.
I will have to talk to him about the moving out thing. If he wants to go, I'll let him go. That's all I can do. He says that if he moves in with his aunt into the garage, then if I move in with him, he'll have to sleep in the house and I would have to sleep in the garage by my self. Nope. That is not going to happen, cause I don't want that. He is mine, my man, and my love. We have to sleep at least under the same fucking roof.
I know it's his aunt's house, and it's their rules, but we have to sleep under the same fucking roof. That is why I want to look for a place for ourselves, so we don't have to take shit from anyone! UGH, UGH, UGH, Ugh!
I know he's tired of living here, with me and my family, but I don't know what to do anymore. I think I just have to let him go and move out. I just hope that by him leaving, we don't break up. He's told me many times, that he wants me to love him and to be with him forever. Ditto on my side, but I would like him to stay here, at my place until the new year. Let me fucking save up some money and then we can get a place of our own.
Shit, I just got a job that pays $12 an hour. That's more than he makes, and then with the money that I make, I can save most of it living here with my mom. I can pay for half his rent, half his expenses ( I don't mind helping him, I wanna help ), and then, with the rest of the money, just save it for a place of our own.
UGH!
Red, just stay a month and a half more. Don't leave this week. Stay and we'll get a place for us!
I love you, and I'm showing you that I do, by taking jobs that I don't want. What more do you want?
My d*land peeps:
Please don't think that I am the victim here. I have never tried on purpose to make you think that I am the victim, even though Red says that I do make myself seem that way in my diary. I am only showing you my side of my life. Not everyone else's! Sheesh!
I just want you all to know that I write what I feel, how I feel it and when I want to write.
FUCK!
Thank you for taking the time to read this and for CLIX-ing me, and for leaving a thingy on my GUESTMAP, for signing my GUESTBOOK, leaving a NOTE, and for loving me!
Hugs!
4:47 p.m. - Friday, Nov. 15, 2002
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